Vladimir Putin’s Christian Mingle Profile

putin on the shvitz

Autocratic outdoorsy-type seeks same.



Height 6’ 4” (and not 5′ 7″ as some people have reported…certain missing people. LOL)
Build Athletic, like Rocky in Rocky IV
Hair Auburn, like Brigitte Nielsen in Snowboard Academy
Eyes Piercing Blue
Relationship Status  Recently Divorced (careful, I’m sensitive…but I’m all man!)
About Children I have two children and do NOT want more (they’re great, but I don’t want to have a baby while I’m trying to advance my career through theatres of war the world over…it wouldn’t be fair to the kid)
Children home 0 (they divide their time between their mother and the Federal Protective Service Nanny Division)
Smoking On occasion, when things get hectic at work (if I’m telling the truth, I was up to a pack a day during the Olympics)
Drinking Frequently (I mean not Yeltsin bad but, you know, up there)
Church I was raised in Orthodox, if you consider crossing yourself in the shower going to “Church”
Church I attend now Baptist
Church Attendance once or twice a month (it’s tough finding a place to pray when my business takes over so much of my spare time…plus, Sunday mornings are when the best yak shows are on)



Self-description I’m a Marx in the boardroom and a Lenin in the bedroom (but with a shredded core)
Music Russian chanson, Soviet marches, Tiesto
Favorite bands and musicians Lubeh (before all the retrospectives and cover albums), Demis Roussos, KISS solo projects
Movie Action, Romantic Comedy, Michael Moore
Favorite movies and actors Top Gun, Wayne’s World 2, Asterix and Obelix movies; Peter Lorre, Spalding Gray
Favorite TV shows Friends, Fox & Friends, The Graham Norton Show
Outdoor activity Bear hunting, moose hunting, Bloody Knuckles, getting naked to the waist for no particular reason
Indoor activity Sudoku, Nicholas Sparks novels, bedroom gymnastics if you know what I mean (I have a pommel horse next to the credenza)
Favorite season The two weeks between June and July when we don’t have snow…am I right?
My idea of a great trip Sevastopol is nice, especially when you arrive on the bow of a ship like Alex the bloody Great
Food Anything I’ve killed with my bare hands
Mentality Eternal Optimist
Politics No comment
Living quarters Spacious but humble Italianate mansion #notbragging
Fashion sense Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny  by way of Tom Ford
Who I am looking for You are an attractive, confident lady who looks good both in evening wear and camo (our first date is dinner but for the second date, you’d better bring your own crossbow!). You must have a thick skin as you will likely be despised by a large number of the Western Devil Media Elite. Also, I’m a big believer in going dutch for the first three months. And by that I do not mean invading the Netherlands (*wink*).

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