Potential Opening Lines for My Boring Canadian Historical Novel

This is the one, I can feel it! If I hit the right note out of the gate I will prove all the naysayers wrong, plus make fun of them for saying ‘nay’.

After I get my opening, all I need is story, characters, resolution and publication. How hard can that be?

“Hark!” bellowed Samuel de Champlain at the Metis guide as they carved a path through the dense shrubbery of New France and into history, to say nothing of our hearts.

Louis Riel stood on the Odessa Steps and faced down the Tsar’s soldiers as he thought, Is it the ‘proletariat’ or ‘bourgeois’ who are the good ones? I can never remember.

 The ale-coloured water of the St. Lawrence girded and swayed toward a metaphoric fork in the stream, teaching everyone that storing your beer in the creek to keep it cold is a last resort at best.


Across the craggy, sere, yet beautiful lands of most remote Newfoundland lived a wizard named Joey who ran a private school for over-privileged children of American warlocks.


Their love could not vault over the differences in their background—he from the feathered hills of Scotland, she from the barren hills of Scarborough—but they couldn’t ignore their feelings while fighting clear cutting in British Columbia. Plus, he’s totally a vampire.

Potential Titles:

The Fleur de Lis or Me, Your Choice

Cracked Leather Saddles at the Broken Heart Saloon and Notions Store

Mulroney & Me

A Giller Award-Winning Work of Man Booker Genius

Joshua Then & Now & Zombies


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